Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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