Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
