Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
