Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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