all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
