Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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