I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
