I would go down on you faster than GM stock
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
