You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
