Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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