Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
