.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
