This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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