carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
