Sponge bath it is.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
