I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
