dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
