I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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