This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
