I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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