i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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