Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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