i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
