I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
