The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
