im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
