Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
