i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
