he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
