yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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