I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
