You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
