Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
