i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
