So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
