i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
