He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
