Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
