just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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