My nipple is on Facebook.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
