HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
