He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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