I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
