How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
