people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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