So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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