Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
