Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
