I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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