Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
