your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
