The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
