I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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