She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
