I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
