If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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